Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Kicked open a door.

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Survived Monday.

Gained your first dog helper.

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Put out someone that's on fire.

Sucked down your own piss.

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Survived Tuesday.

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Survived Wednesday.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Survived Thursday.

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Survived Friday.

Killed over 1,000 people.

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Wore all three outfits.

Survived Saturday.

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Finished all seven days.

Totaled 30 cars.

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Read the newspaper every day.

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Reunited with an old friend.

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Made a very long killing spree.

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Reunited with an old enemy.

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Killed Zack Ward.

Reunited with an old flame.

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Kicked 30 dogs.

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Escaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive.

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.

Rescued your loyal companion.

Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.

Wasted no time with the Wise Wang.

Defeated your hateful ex-wife with delicious cake.

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Collected money for charity without stealing from Zack Ward.

Bought the toilet paper instead of stealing it.

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.

Deactivated all of the Vend-A-Cure XJ-2 units.