Achieved | Achievement | % of players | Unlock date |
|---|---|---|---|
 | Torpedo... Los! Baby's first cheev: launch a ball | 100% | 12/01/2019, 16:33:31 |
 | Comfortably Well Off! I'm rich! I'm wealthy! I'm independent! I'm socially secure! Achieve a cumulative point total of 50,000,000 !!! | 91.65% | 12/01/2019, 16:34:46 |
 | Onwards and Upwards! Get to the bonus round! | 25.26% | 15/01/2019, 18:57:58 |
 | Pinball Acolyte! Climb 100m in the bonus round | 6.24% | |
| Wielder of Secrets! Enter a secret code on the title screen. Here's your hint: "Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?" | 2.75% | |
| Down, but not out! Earn an extra ball | 2.64% | |
 | Sticker Fiend! Collect all regular stickers! | 1.69% | |
| Pinball Wizard!!! Ultimate Pinball Mastery! Climb 200m in the bonus round. | 1.37% | |
| Sticker Aficionado!!! Collect all shiny stickers! Such dedication! Such chutzpah! So much free time! Also, if you care about such things, this counts as "beating the game." | 0.95% | |
| Flabbergasted! You'll know even less about how you get this achievement after you get it. | 0.85% |