Achieved | Achievement | % of players | Unlock date |
|---|---|---|---|
 | Give It The Fingers Successfully enter both your quips in a round | 100% | 11/02/2019, 17:11:39 |
 | Quip It Good Win both battles in a round | 97.47% | |
| Quipee-ki-yay! Win all battles in Rounds 1 and 2 | 86.67% | |
| The Titular Achievement Get a Quiplash! (sweep votes in a 5+-player game) | 80.59% | |
| Sitting Ovation Play a game with an Audience | 53.74% | |
| Eighters Gonna Eight Play an 8-player game | 43.32% | |
| Hi, Jinx! Enter the same thing as your opponent | 40.91% | |
| Quip Pro Quo Write a quip that Schmitty actually responds to | 35.49% | |
| He Who Lashes Last… Get 70% or more of the votes in The Last Lash | 16.15% | |
| Meatloaf Candy Write "meatloaf candy" and win a battle with it | 2.65% |