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Achieved | Achievement | % of players | Unlock date |
|---|---|---|---|
 | GOD SAVE THE DUDE Use portable armor | 82.37% | 05/05/2026, 21:40:48 |
 | CRACKHEAD Use a health pipe | 78.84% | 05/05/2026, 22:11:09 |
 | PSPSPSPSPS Pet a cat | 65.46% | 03/05/2026, 00:44:03 |
 | DOUBLE THE EXCITEMENT Kill 5 hostiles with akimbo powerup active | 58.28% | 06/05/2026, 21:01:58 |
 | HERPES GENITALIS Burn at least 5 hostiles with piss | 58.28% | 03/05/2026, 01:05:21 |
 | I AM THE MANAGER Kill Karen | 50.01% | 11/05/2026, 00:54:42 |
 | GYMCEL Kill 5 hostiles with steroids powerup active | 48.06% | 11/05/2026, 15:36:21 |
 | MUSIC SOOTHES THE SAVAGE BEAST Kill a certain group of hostiles in the neighbourhood | 46.96% | 05/05/2026, 22:02:08 |
 | RELOADING! Use an ammo box | 46.36% | 11/05/2026, 16:23:12 |
 | I AM CONFUS Confuse at least 5 hostiles with piss | 38.81% | 11/05/2026, 15:40:18 |
 | THE CURE Kill the big bad RONA | 33.09% | |
 | TRYHARD Get 100% on any of the levels | 30.54% | 05/05/2026, 22:07:41 |
 | IT'S BIGGER WHEN IT'S WARM Freeze at least 5 hostiles with piss | 29.44% | 05/05/2026, 21:54:32 |
| THIRD IMPACT Kill Tesloborgelion | 27.13% | |
| WELCOME TO THE COLONY Kill a certain group of hostiles in the forest | 25.06% | |
| TAKE THE BLUE PILL Kill 5 hostiles with quick pillz powerup active | 23.12% | |
 | NO, U Reflect 10 projectiles | 21.29% | 05/05/2026, 21:50:39 |
 | IT'S NOT WEDNESDAY MY DUDES Find a certain secret not on wednesday | 13.38% | 11/05/2026, 00:03:00 |
| SECOND AMENDMENT Find all weapon codex entries | 9.86% | |
| I WANT TO BELIVE Find the third installment | 9.73% | |
| PISSIMIST Piss on Tesloborgelion boy parts | 8.4% | |
| PREMATURE EVACUATOR Finish any level below the speedrun threshold | 8.4% | |
 | B**ch Lore Find all codex entries in the These Sunny Daze DLC | 8.27% | |
| ANTIVAXXER Kill the big bad RONA without using the vaccine | 8.15% | |
 | IT'S WEDNESDAY MY DUDES Find a certain secret on wednesday, my dude | 7.79% | 06/05/2026, 21:36:19 |
| DREAM WITHIN A DREAM, WITHIN A DREAM Find all location codex entries | 6.81% | |
| TINDER Find all enemy codex entries | 6.21% | |
| Calm down baby Piss on angry Moto Mom | 5.6% | |
| Sunburn Commando Obtain all These Sunny Daze DLC weapons | 4.5% | |
| PTSD Finish the These Sunny Daze DLC | 3.89% | |
| JFK Kill Ronald Dixon with a sniper rifle | 1.83% | |
| Love for Sail Find all secrets on the Ship Happens map | 1.7% | |
| What a Beach to find Find all secrets on the Sun of the Beach map | 1.7% | |
| Fully Erected Find all secrets on the E*ection Day | 1.58% |