Achieved | Achievement | % of players | Unlock date |
---|---|---|---|
R. Kelly's Protege Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it. | 81.6% | 06/02/2019, 14:37:39 | |
Friend of Dorothy Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level. | 76.18% | 06/02/2019, 20:21:38 | |
Well, aren't YOU a badass Kicked open a door. | 70.07% | 06/02/2019, 19:54:27 | |
Duck Dynasty Used a Bass Sniffer Radar. | 64.77% | 06/02/2019, 15:24:17 | |
Someone's got a case of the Mondays! Survived Monday. | 59.98% | 06/02/2019, 15:21:58 | |
Here, Wilfred Gained your first dog helper. | 58.66% | 06/02/2019, 22:40:52 | |
Taxidermy with Chuck Testa Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun. | 57.36% | 06/02/2019, 11:35:10 | |
Officer McLovin' Asked a police officer to sign your petition. | 51.44% | 06/02/2019, 15:24:51 | |
I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you Put out someone that's on fire. | 47.69% | 08/02/2019, 00:35:37 | |
It's sterile and I like the taste Sucked down your own piss. | 44.92% | 07/02/2019, 00:42:14 | |
It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head. | 41.04% | ||
Finkle IS Einhorn! Gave a kickoff to a severed head. | 40.67% | 06/02/2019, 22:15:36 | |
C U Next Tuesday Survived Tuesday. | 35.82% | 07/02/2019, 01:15:58 | |
Lieberman is our Leader! Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office. | 34.53% | 06/02/2019, 11:31:23 | |
It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway Killed someone who refused to sign your petition. | 33.02% | 07/02/2019, 00:29:08 | |
Fur Sure! Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them. | 31.65% | 08/02/2019, 01:09:49 | |
Do you even Enzyte, bro? Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it. | 29.46% | 06/02/2019, 20:01:10 | |
OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT! Survived Wednesday. | 28% | 08/02/2019, 00:21:34 | |
Sheriff Arpaio would be proud. Killed 30 or more people of each skin color. | 25.97% | ||
OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale Roasted 30 people with fire. | 23.14% | ||
And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree Killed all of the book protestors in the library. | 22.09% | 07/02/2019, 00:40:40 | |
It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays Survived Thursday. | 21.42% | ||
GOOD MORNING VIETNAM! Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm. | 20.87% | ||
I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit. | 19.52% | 07/02/2019, 17:03:52 | |
Where's Mr. McGibblets? Gave Krotchy the bad touch. | 19.35% | ||
Gotta pay the Troll Toll Found one of the hidden underground sewers. | 18.42% | ||
Door Mat Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them. | 18.35% | 07/02/2019, 00:46:40 | |
Workin' for the Weekend Survived Friday. | 17.91% | ||
Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This! Killed over 1,000 people. | 17.72% | ||
Can't Touch This Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face. | 17.46% | 07/02/2019, 17:22:53 | |
FAB-U-LOUS! Wore all three outfits. | 15.49% | ||
Screw Bill Lumbergh! Survived Saturday. | 15.31% | ||
Paid the Piper Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest. | 15.15% | 08/02/2019, 02:44:15 | |
You are not alone Observed an NPC going POSTAL! | 14.64% | ||
Darth Maul'd! Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe. | 14.51% | 08/02/2019, 02:41:37 | |
Chuck Norris'd! Killed someone with a flying jump kick. | 13.15% | 07/02/2019, 00:43:48 | |
Running With Scissors Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors. | 11.32% | ||
I swear, I thought it was a home fill Exploded a nuclear bomb. | 10.87% | ||
Shiva Blast "Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow. | 10.57% | ||
A-Rod Who? Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel. | 10.55% | 06/02/2019, 22:19:09 | |
Anger Management With Roger Clemens Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer. | 10.54% | ||
Reddit would be proud. Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time. | 10.33% | 06/02/2019, 23:01:28 | |
Thanks for the money! Finished all seven days. | 10.29% | ||
Rebecca Black's Nightmare Totaled 30 cars. | 10.22% | 08/02/2019, 02:34:27 | |
Rick Grimes 4 Life Made 30 zombies lose their heads. | 10.2% | ||
There's always money in the banana stand Found the secret bank exit on Monday. | 10.13% | ||
I Am Legend Committed suicide... the Taliban way. | 10.09% | ||
I should buy a boat Read the newspaper every day. | 9.53% | ||
Chapelle's Show Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut. | 9.42% | 06/02/2019, 20:40:44 | |
GABAGOOOOOL! Reunited with an old friend. | 8.91% | 07/02/2019, 03:35:59 | |
SeƱor Cornballer Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform. | 8.91% | ||
Found 'em faster than GWB Discovered the hidden Taliban base. | 8.85% | ||
John Rambo'd! Made a very long killing spree. | 7.48% | ||
RAFIBOMB!!! Kicked 10 people in the balls. | 7.43% | 07/02/2019, 17:07:48 | |
Holocaust: Part Deux Reunited with an old enemy. | 7.26% | ||
Cesar Millan is Very Happy Mauled 30 people with your dog. | 7.15% | 08/02/2019, 00:05:57 | |
One time, at band camp... Saved the marching band from explody death. | 6.88% | 07/02/2019, 17:43:36 | |
I don't need virgins for this Suicide-bombed a Taliban member. | 6.85% | ||
Ginger Mint Killed Zack Ward. | 6.4% | ||
Rain on your Wedding Day Reunited with an old flame. | 6.36% | ||
I'm not even supposed to be here today! Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us! | 6.28% | ||
Don't taze me, bro! Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform. | 6.04% | ||
Uncle T-Bag Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell. | 5.93% | ||
Pussy on a Pedestal Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun. | 5.71% | ||
Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader. | 5.65% | ||
Hello, Newman Kicked 30 dogs. | 5.31% | ||
Fear and Loathing Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session. | 5.03% | ||
Ape Gape Escaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive. | 4.74% | ||
Gettin DP'd Made 30 kills while dual-wielding. | 4.72% | ||
BioShocked Spent $2000 on vending machines. | 4.7% | ||
Michonne ain't got nothin' on me Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes. | 4.69% | ||
SCREW that game! Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it. | 4.65% | ||
Better than POSTAL III Rescued your loyal companion. | 4.44% | ||
Gary vs. The K. Man Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse. | 4.22% | ||
Dick Message Wasted no time with the Wise Wang. | 4.2% | ||
Ladies Love Cake Defeated your hateful ex-wife with delicious cake. | 4.15% | ||
Planet of the Apes: The Musical Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty. | 4.03% | ||
Anustart! Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills. | 3.96% | ||
40 Year Old Virgin Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.) | 3.84% | ||
CAN YOU DIG IT?! Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.) | 3.67% | ||
Hobo Sexual Collected money for charity without stealing from Zack Ward. | 3.54% | ||
PooMasher Bought the toilet paper instead of stealing it. | 3.52% | ||
Scientology Level: OT VIII Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty. | 3.49% | ||
Rich on Reddit Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors. | 3.33% | ||
You Snow Nothing John Blow Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone. | 3.2% | ||
Ode to Eddings Deactivated all of the Vend-A-Cure XJ-2 units. | 3.07% | ||
Adderall4All Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.) | 2.87% | ||
My Name is Jesus Completed Paradise Lost with no kills. | 2.84% | ||
Harder than r/gonewild Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty. | 2.81% |